We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
ELLEN DEGENERESI’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
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Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
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I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.
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True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.
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It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to yourself.
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When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
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I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.
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Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
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The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
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There’s always time to do things that you’re passionate about. … If my name helps get something out there that I believe in then I am going to produce it. … Design is really my true love.
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The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
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You just have to keep driving down the road. It’s going to bend and curve and you’ll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
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I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
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Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It’s not a number at all.
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Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
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We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
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You have to have funny faces and words, you can’t just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that’s why it’s hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
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Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
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So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything?
ELLEN DEGENERES -
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
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It is a fundamental right for people to be allowed to love who they want to love and marry who they want to marry and stop holding on to some form of discrimination that it’s just isn’t fair.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
One rough patch is not the big picture.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES