I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMSThat is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.
More Brad Williams Quotes
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I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
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Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
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When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
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I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
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I’m not going to talk too much politics because I’m not smart enough to do that.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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I’m in awe of comics that do things that I can’t do, or haven’t tried doing yet.
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I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don’t pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
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Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.
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It’s weird when people ask me, “Why are you so nice?” It’s like, “Because that’s just what you should do. You should be kind to people.” It seems really basic, but it’s amazing how many people forget that.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
BRAD WILLIAMS






