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When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.

Ellen DeGeneres

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Ideas
I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Basketball Doors Perfume Spray
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor
Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Happiest Hurt Thinking
Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Inspirational Lessons Yesterday
I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Kindness People
I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.
ELLEN DEGENERES

College Funny Humor
I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Comment Energy Want
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Home Humor
I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Inspiring Strong Women
Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Another Bye Kind People
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Law Lawyer Legal System
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Honesty Inspiring Kindness
So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Drama Knowing People

When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.

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When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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