“If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.”

It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to – everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.

Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.

Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.

Wong Kar-wai and Ang Lee are two Asian directors I’m really fond of.

You can go home again…so long as you understand that home is a place where you have never been.

Ancestor worship, or filial piety so characteristic of Asian cultures, for example, does not really resonate with Americans who favor children, not grandparents.

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.

And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to

We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.

We live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns.

This was in the ’70s and there was a lot of racism towards South Asians and there was a lot of hazing and bullying and racism that really probably shaped me in some way in terms of, like, wanting to get out of there.