In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth… see you at the final.
BILL HICKSGod has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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How do I know the Bible isn’t the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand…considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
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I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
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It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
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You ever seen somebody do that? I’ve seen someone do that. Let me tell you something – if you’re smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I’d think about quitting. And that’s just me, ya know.
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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
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You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
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I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
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They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
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Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
BILL HICKS