“I saw a specialist who asked me ‘Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?’. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.”

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

I’ll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven’t done something even mildly creative.

I came home and found that my son was taking drugs – my very best ones too!

Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.

Fitzgerald coined the phrase the ‘Jazz Age,’ and now we’re living in the Hip-Hop Age.

If the women’s movement can be summed up in a single phrase, it is ‘the right to choose’.

My mom used to tell me, I can’t use this phrase on the radio – but basically don’t be one of those dudes hanging on the corner.

Neatness of phrase is so closely akin to wit that it is often accepted as its substitute.

There are few things more wearisome in a fairly fatiguing life than the monotonous repetition of a phrase which catches and holds the public fancy by virtue of its total lack of significance.

The difficulty of saying I-a phrase from the East German novelist Christa Wolf. But once having said it, as we realize the necessity to go further, isn’t there a difficulty of saying ‘we’? You cannot speak for me.

I think that phrase is the most horrible phrase in the English language – ‘I don’t know.’ It’s terribly embarrassing.

It is the compelling power of great thoughts and ideas to engender phrases of equal size.