[I’m] more German than Irish.
BILL BURRI mean, stand up you’re by yourself and it’s live and when you’re acting, unless you’re doing a monologue, you’re interacting with somebody else. Even if you’re doing a monologue you’re saying it to somebody and it’s not live so you can do it a few times.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
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I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
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Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.
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Business runs hot and cold so the more you’re in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.
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Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
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Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
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As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
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So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
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Like most comics, I tried to come up with a sitcom idea that was based around my life. And it didn’t work out. But maybe because it didn’t work out, that’s why I ended up on ‘Breaking Bad;’ I don’t know.
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Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
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Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.
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I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
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A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there’s like a devil and a devil and they’re just battling it out the whole time. It’s like, “Smoke some crack!” “Get a hooker!” And then I go, “YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!”
BILL BURR







