“How do you keep people from jerking your chain? Don’t give your chain to jerks!”

To be influential in our conversations, we must first be aware of two things, (1) what do we want to bring to the conversation and (2) what do we want to bring out in others.

The way to encourage people to be accountable is to engage the responsible, accountable, trustworthy part of their brain.

The key to changing our past, present, and future is to create our piece of the PIE (our Perceptions, Interpretations, & Expectations) on purpose.

Worry, shame, and fear can’t be the energy with which we deal with food and weight. It only spurs us to eat more food and produce more glucose/sugar which gets stored as fat.

Living exclusively in the land of the head or the heart will always be a limiting, limited experience. The most successful among us have dual citizenship.

Problems occur when we tie our peace of mind to another’s state of mind.

When stress and anxiety have your system stuck in a brainstem loop? Reboot. It’s I.T. for life!

When a loving, meaningful experience is our goal, we must trust an energy that is congruent with that goal as our guide along the way. Bottom line, trust love over fear if love is what you’re after.

The problem with lethargy is that doing nothing validates the fear that nothing can be done.

Holding on to painful images of the past in order to avoid painful experiences in the future serves only to color the present with pain.

There’s no such thing as a ‘stressful’ situation.

Family is the place where acceptance and validation are most needed, but often the hardest to find.

Regardless of the problem, as long as our solution requires someone else to change, we will never know the power and promise of self-determination.

There are two ways to make someone important in our lives … we can either love them or hate them.

You can’t ‘cope with’ change anymore than you can ‘manage’ stress.

Our past is not, as some fear, a series of events carved in stone that we must carry around for the rest of our lives… but a kaleidoscope of experiences that, when viewed through different lenses, can ‘color’ (change) how we see our present and future.

Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.

The wedding vows are a license to be a complete jerk.

I’ll get cast occasionally as sort of the jerk version of myself, and I have fun doing that. But it’s really better for everyone if I stay behind the camera.

I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can’t now.