“Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.”

I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .

I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.

Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.

Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!

Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.

They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!

I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

I don’t enjoy lettering very much, but that’s the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.

Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.

I wept heartily over this poor little deceased soul. It was the first sentient being I had ever killed. I was now a killer. I was now as guilty as Cain. I was sixteen years old, a harmless boy, bookish and religious, and now I had blood on my hands. It’s a terrible burden to carry. All sentient life is sacred.

We dance with women in groups, but it is very rare that you have a partner that is a woman. The dance world is very macho – woman, boy, always couples, and it’s very standardized.

The boys are so powerful off of the baseline now that they don’t have to come to the net to finish points. That’s the reason we went to the net. To finish the point. Nowadays, even the big guys can hit winners four feet behind the baseline.

Hey, Ill be a pretty boy for money.

I think everybody should get married. Boys and girls. Girls and boys. Boys and boys! Girls and girls! Shouldn’t we all be entitled to a family-Civil rights baby it’s civil rights. It doesn’t get any better here in Berkeley I’ll tell you that.

Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.

Doesn’t it show us all that we are silly little boys or fatuous asses to think that we can play golf without making a lot of bad shots?

The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.