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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

Oh, what a great day that was! You got to be God. You decided who lived, who died.

Bill Engvall

Related Topics

DayDiedGodGreat

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More Bill Engvall Quotes

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  How about this, have you ever farted so hard you shivered?

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  If you thought Stairway to Heaven was a long song, dear god you should listen to it played on a lute.

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• 

  It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway.

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• 

  I think my wife puts up with me ’cause I try. I think that’s all any guy can do is just try. That’s right! ‘Cause we ain’t never gunna get it. ‘Cause as soon as we get close you ladies change it. It’s like this memo goes out, ‘they’re getting close, change it, change it!’

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• 

  Welcome to my garage. This is where I go to get away from the Honey-Do list.

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• 

  When the bus driver gets off the bus, who shuts the door?

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• 

  I walk in side and take off my jacket and my wife says Is it raining out I couldn’t help my self when I replied Nope, I had to take the gold fish for a walk. Here’s your sign!

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• 

  Just when I think the human race has been lost to the “what about me” people. I see the best we have to offer helping others.

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• 

  I’ve about decided if it wasn’t for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you’re just hangin’ out with your buddies.

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• 

  Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. “Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up…” WHAM! And what do you say, if you’re the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? “All right dude, you’re up.”

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• 

  I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, “Dude, shut up.” She hadn’t walked two feet behind us and he goes “God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?” And all I could say was “Yeah, I did!”

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• 

  God, she’s growing up, and I don’t know when it happened, man. I used to buy her Minnie Mouse panties and little Winnie the Pooh underwear. I was helping my wife fold cloths.

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• 

  I believe that the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. It’s a little further south.

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• 

  Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth. That would be awesome.

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• 

  I lifted up this big ‘ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, Hey, y’all catch all them fish? Nope – Talked ’em into giving up. Here’s your sign.

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• 

  You can’t even tell your mom, because she gives that face, Oh, he is that stupid.

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