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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

Oh, what a great day that was! You got to be God. You decided who lived, who died.

Bill Engvall

Related Topics

DayDiedGodGreat

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• 

  Martial sex is kinda like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail.

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  You can’t even tell your mom, because she gives that face, Oh, he is that stupid.

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  The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear he said, Tire go flat? I couldn’t resist. Said, Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here’s your sign.

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  I shot me a nice deer, and I hung it on the den wall in my house.

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  I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer with the airplane. and there was a silence on the other end of the line followed by.. OH MY GOD.! were you on the ground? I said nope, santa was makin one last run.

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  The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.

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  Ma’am, when I got up this morning, I didn’t want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.

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  I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

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  I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there’s only one way to test it.

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  I’ve come up with the three things you never want to hear at your kid’s parent/teacher conference.

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