If you want to drink, have a drink… if you want to drive, then drive… there’s nothing worse than having a smash sober.

I’m not saying my mother-in-law is fat – because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.
BERNARD MANNING

Law Mother Self
If you want to drink, have a drink… if you want to drive, then drive… there’s nothing worse than having a smash sober.
BERNARD MANNING

Drink Sober Want Worse
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
BERNARD MANNING

Funny Sleep Witty
You are what you eat…..I’ve eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn’t believe
BERNARD MANNING

Believe Cunts Eat Fats
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
BERNARD MANNING

Birthday Christmas Funny
I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.
BERNARD MANNING

Men Rejected Sex
I’ve got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you’re 71 years old. People just think I’m a silly old fool.
BERNARD MANNING

Silly Thinking Years

More Bernard Manning Quotes