Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERFDo I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
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The fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
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I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
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I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
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In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
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Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
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The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
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Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
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Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
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