“I’ve got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you’re 71 years old. People just think I’m a silly old fool.”

I once got sacked for laughing … mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.

I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

If you want to drink, have a drink… if you want to drive, then drive… there’s nothing worse than having a smash sober.

I’m not saying my mother-in-law is fat – because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.

You are what you eat…..I’ve eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn’t believe

Maurice was a silly man. Maurice liked being silly.

And with this show we’re trying to be a little sillier. We can do a piece like one we wrote the other day called “Ghost Busters Busters”. Where would never do that in a million years on Mr. Show, but somehow on this show it’s silly and stupid and a little more disposable, so we can do something like that.

It’s like an American tradition. A person gets successful and then he’s supposed to change for the worse. It’s silly.

I just like doing silly girly things. If I wrap a gift, I like to use specials ribbon and hot glue, silk flowers and things.

I skate all the time, but it’s silly for me to do contests when MTV is giving me a boatload of money.

Culture is a perversion. It fetishizes objects, creates consumer mania, it preaches endless forms of false happiness, endless forms of false understanding in the form of squirrelly religions and silly cults. It invites people to diminish themselves and dehumanize themselves by behaving like machines.

Writing is one way to go about thinking, and the practice and habit of writing not only drain the mind but supply it, too.

When you’re young, you’re stupid. You do silly things.