You can’t be a doctor if you don’t know the entire parts of the body.
BERNIE MACI ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.
More Bernie Mac Quotes
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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.
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When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
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I’ve never been no superficial cat.
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You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.
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I’ve always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there’s people used to get mad at me because I didn’t hang out and things like that. I’ve never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’ve never been posse, and all that. I’m a quiet storm.
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I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
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I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.
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I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.
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I’m so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.
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Whatever success I’ve had, I always like to top it.
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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
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I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.
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They say if you don’t have your health you ain’t got nothing, but the truth is you ain’t got nothing if you don’t have no one to worry about your health.
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When you’re offstage, that’s the footprint. That’s the man God’s gonna judge.
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I wasn’t disciplined at all. As good of an athlete as I was, I was not disciplined. Had I had the drive that I have in comedy, and acting, and writing, that’s why I knew it just wasn’t right for me.
BERNIE MAC






