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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!

Bennett Cerf

I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
BENNETT CERF

Fun People Thinking
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
BENNETT CERF

Believe Discovery Soul
Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
BENNETT CERF

Gross Ignorance Ordinary
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERF

Detroit Lasts Night
The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
BENNETT CERF

Blessed Happiness Laughter
I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERF

God Love Shutter
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
The fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Facts
Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERF

Book Home Teenager
The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF

Age Peace War
In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Poetry Writing
Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
BENNETT CERF

Football Men Years
The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
BENNETT CERF

Differences Effectiveness Ghost Stories

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!

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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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