My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.
BARRY HUMPHRIESMy mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
More Barry Humphries Quotes
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There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.
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To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one’s mother.
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Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.
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I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.
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I’ve decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don’t, if you put them first, they never thank you. You’ll never get a word of thanks from them.
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The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.
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Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
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I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.
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The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.
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I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it’s very comfortable and dependable.
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Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.
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My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
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If you can’t laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.
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Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development.
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New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.
BARRY HUMPHRIES