“I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’”

You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.

A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’

Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.

You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”

If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.

There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.

Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.

I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.

I cannot accept the definition of collective good as articulated by a privileged minority in society, especially when that minority is in power.

You must personally accept the responsibility of improving your own life.

When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future.

I don’t really like labels in politics, but I will gladly accept the label of conservatism.

I have this thing about being acknowledged and accepted by institutions.

You explain right well, and you shew that you understand argument and are not a mere sophist since you accept that which cannot be denied.

A good parent, a good neighbour, a good citizen, is not good because his specific goals are acceptable, but because his successive goals are ordered to a dependable and socially desirable set of values. (1947)

The kingdom of music is not the kingdom of this world; it will accept those whom breeding and intellect and culture have alike rejected.