“I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”

Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

Don’t ever become a pessimist… a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

For me, politeness is a sine qua non of civilization.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity.

One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

I don’t see how an article of clothing can be indecent. A person, yes.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

I’m willing to make some sacrifices.” And I think that they ought to be respected for doing that.

Work is most fulfilling when you’re at the comfortable, exciting edge of not quite knowing what you are doing.

I will always serve my country in any capacity, but I’m very happy with what I’m doing right now.

Anybody who cares about what he does takes risks.

Whether he’s doing great acting or not, you’re seeing somebody who is in the tradition of a great actor.

Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.

“What was that, George, what were you doing?” And he said, “They were sleeping.” You’re always trying to catch them.

People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’