“Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.”

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.

By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity.

One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

I don’t see how an article of clothing can be indecent. A person, yes.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own…

Never insult anyone by accident.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in to him with a stick.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.