America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the ’70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
P. J. O'ROURKE






