Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O'ROURKEEverybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
P. J. O'ROURKE