Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.
P. J. O'ROURKEEverybody is xenophobic to an extent.
P. J. O'ROURKEArab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
P. J. O'ROURKEHead lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKEA fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
P. J. O'ROURKEWill Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
P. J. O'ROURKEThey are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
P. J. O'ROURKEEnding wars is very simple if you surrender.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
P. J. O'ROURKENo industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
P. J. O'ROURKEWe need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'ROURKENo humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
P. J. O'ROURKEEven very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
P. J. O'ROURKEEverybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'ROURKE