Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
P. J. O'ROURKEBecause of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
P. J. O'ROURKE






