Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the ’70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
P. J. O'ROURKE