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New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.

P. J. O'Rourke

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Children Everybody Except Know People Raise
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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Bad Family Love Messy Pattern Wallpaper
No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
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Archive Career Doubt Politics Profession Ridiculous Right Success
Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Business Cancer Country Nice Place Show Southern Spread
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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Being Brat Irresponsible Spoil World
You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Detroit Down Elite History Think
I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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Computer Gaze Know One Suppose Use
Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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Benefit Bring Hero People Rich Wealth
By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Country End Ernt Reliable Say Thousand
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Ask Came Children Form Go Grow Know Tell
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behind Civil Downfall Government Importance Local State Treat War
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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Adept Avoid Even Learn More Young
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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Box Domino Eat Many Pizza Slice Wealth
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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Advocate Charity Compulsory Government Merely Politician Virtue
Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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Expert Leader Nothing Political Say
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P. J. O'ROURKE

Got Little Love Simple Straightforward Thing

New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.

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New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.

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Popular Authors

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