If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
P. J. O'ROURKEI like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
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Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
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They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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