I can walk. It’s just that I’m so rich I don’t need to.
ALAN BENNETTSo, half a dozen of us tried – not all of us in history – and we all eventually got in. So, to that extent, it [The History Boys] comes out of my own experience.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.
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So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
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That’s a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.
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Philip Larkin used to cheer himself up by looking in the mirror and saying the line from Rebecca, ‘I am Mrs de Winter now!
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The nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects.
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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
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Far from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one wanted to pass the time one could go to New Zealand.
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Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
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The liturgy is best treated and read as if it’s someone announcing the departure of trains.
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The thing I think about is that once you’ve done it, you then start to think about what you’re going to do next.
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Some local boys come in and there is a bit of chat between them and the fish-fryer about whether the kestrel under the counter is for sale.
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Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.
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A photograph on every mantlepiece. And all this mourning has veiled the truth. It’s not so much lest we forget, as lest we remember.
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Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?
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Polly: Education with socialists, it’s like sex, all right as long as you don’t have to pay for it.
ALAN BENNETT