Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
AL YANKOVICNo Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.
More Al Yankovic Quotes
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When I go to my live shows it’s often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.
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Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.
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Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they’re not afraid of wolves.
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How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you’re doing?
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You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
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I’m an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I’m a relation to Frankenstein’s creation.
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My wife went off with Elvis.
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Ever since the day you left me, I’ve been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
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Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
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Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you’ll be watching TV, and it’ll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you’ll actually find yourself thinking,
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I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
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People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.
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I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.
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I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
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Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
AL YANKOVIC