“People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’”

In the ’80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”

Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’

I’m obviously not a rapper, and I don’t have any claims to be one, really.

I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits – and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!

I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.

They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

Until you try, you don’t know what you can’t do.

If you want me to do things only for ROI reasons, you should get out of this stock.

The best thing to do is dive with your imagination ~ you can never drown yourself.

A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do, Nothing else.

I want it to be the greatest thing I ever do: make good humans.

I cannot accept your canon that we are to judge Pope and King unlike other men, with a favorable presumption that they do no wrong.

Success nullifies. You then have to do it again, preferably differently.

A child free from the guilt of ownership and the burden of economic competition will grow up with the will to do what needs doing and the capacity for joy in doing it. It is useless work that darkens the heart.