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I have a long-standing history of respecting artists’ wishes.

Al Yankovic

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.
AL YANKOVIC

Gross Hamburger Many Out Sick Something Year
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!
AL YANKOVIC

Free Hand On Other Song Want Wow
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
AL YANKOVIC

Bagel Face Pitchfork Remove Staple Wanna
Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
AL YANKOVIC

Down Naked Picture Take
Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Band Bet Cattle Garage Nirvana Our Raise Seattle Sure
If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.
AL YANKOVIC

Buy Happiness Guess Money Rent Sassy
I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.
AL YANKOVIC

Chance Fame Good Make Rock Think
I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I’m working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life.
AL YANKOVIC

Actual Life Long Onstage Pick Possible Realize Rest Song Studio Time Work
So that’s why one of my rules of parody writing is that it’s gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
AL YANKOVIC

Funny Gotta Know Material Merit Parody Regard Rule Source Write
Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
AL YANKOVIC

Buck Channel Midget Month Wres
There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
AL YANKOVIC

Cut Fine Guy Library Overall Paid Pretty Probably
Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.
AL YANKOVIC

Big Chunk Dinner Dirt Every Night Reality
People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.
AL YANKOVIC

Get Better People School
When I swore that you’re getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
AL YANKOVIC

Beautiful Everyday Honesty Kid More
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless

I have a long-standing history of respecting artists’ wishes.

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I have a long-standing history of respecting artists’ wishes.

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