“Don’t drink at all, don’t smoke, you must exercise and eat vegetables and fruit.”

I am an educationist. I’m an economist. I am a politician. I am also now a good storyteller, you know?

It’s not possible that women can be at par with men.

Only God who appointed me will remove me.

Dont fight even over girlfriends. The country is full of beautiful women. If you cant get one, come to Mugabe for assistance.

Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

Zimbabwe is for Zimbabweans; so are its resources.

It may be necessary to use methods other than constitutional ones.

There are things one must do for oneself.

Zimbabwe will never be a colony again.

Stay with us, please remain in this country and constitute a nation based on national unity.

Some people are contriving ways and means of making us collapse.

We are not hungry. Why foist this food upon us? We don’t want to be choked. We have enough.

The white man is not indigenous to Africa. Africa is for Africans. Zimbabwe is for Zimbabweans.

Cooperation and respect for each other will advance the cause of human rights worldwide. Confrontation, vilification, and double standards will not.

I have died many times. I have actually beaten Jesus Christ because he only died once.

So, Blair keep your England, and let me keep my Zimbabwe.

When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

There’s nothing in the world like that first taste of beer.

When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait”.

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.

Champagne is the one thing that gives me zest when I am tired.

I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey. And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobacco.

There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.