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I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’

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The only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.
AL FRANKEN

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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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I anticipate that Apple’s fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.
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We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.
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I mean, there is a part of the media that’s not the mainstream media. That’s Fox, that is ‘The Wall Street Journal’ editorial page.
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Russia has cultivated an opaque network of patronage across the region that it uses to influence and direct decision- making.
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The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.
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The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone – in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.
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Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
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There’s an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we’re morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that’s a bit dangerous.
AL FRANKEN

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Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn’t been any radio that did that. And so they weren’t trained.
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation.
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If you hear, day after day, liberals are rooting against armed forces.
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Putin has had many positive experiences working with Western political leaders whose business interests made them more disposed to deal with Russia.
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They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
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