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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

Al Franken

And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn’t take their advice.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Big Certain Climate Coal Denier Doctor Food Other Paid Snack
We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way.
AL FRANKEN

Country Different Do Love Mean Much Way Year
Does the mainstream media have a liberal bias? On a couple of things, maybe.
AL FRANKEN

Bias Couple Liberal Mainstream Media Thing
I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.
AL FRANKEN

Being Comedian led People Pressure Producer Under
Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that.
AL FRANKEN

Comedy Communication Do Lot People Politics Pressure Something
And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.
AL FRANKEN

Book Down Easy Fun Information Laugh Make People Think Understand Write
You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay.
AL FRANKEN

Adult Child Children Country Like Love Mean Mommy Somebody
Liberals don’t hate America. We love America more than Ann Coulter does. I love it enough to engage my readers honestly.
AL FRANKEN

Country Country Love Doe Engage Enough Hate Honestly Liberal Reader
I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.
AL FRANKEN

Attack Comedy People Personal Specialize
It’s not preppies, cause I’m a preppie myself. I just don’t like homosexuals. If you ask me, they’re all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.
AL FRANKEN

Her Homosexual Myself Philadelphia Preppy Pud
I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
AL FRANKEN

Change Make Perfectionist Start Stop
The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.
AL FRANKEN

Business Good Interest Least Little Radio Rating Rocket Science Thing
Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
AL FRANKEN

Being Dog Master Raise Sense Service Well
Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
AL FRANKEN

Antitrust Business Compete Competition Each Other Law Protect
The crash of 2008 was driven in no small part by unfair practices in the mortgage industry which led to many consumers being trapped in loans they didn’t understand and couldn’t afford.
AL FRANKEN

Become Crash Drive Industry led Many Mortgage Part Practice Small Unfair
I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
AL FRANKEN

Civil Fight Liberal Like Right Tradition

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

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