black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

That at the same time of this very intimate act of concentrating so carefully on the details of our mother’s palm and fingertips.

Aimee Bender

It is all about numbers. It is all about sequence. It’s the mathematical logic of being alive.
AIMEE BENDER

Everything Kept Life Logical Loss Mathematics Normal Number Sadness
Kissing George was a little like rolling in caramel after spending years surviving off rice sticks.
AIMEE BENDER

Kiss People Rice Rolling Stick Survive Year
You feel wonderful, you feel like somebody knows you’re alive, you feel fear because it could be a bomb, because you think you’re that important.
AIMEE BENDER

Alive Bomb Important Somebody Think Wonderful
You’re the perfect girl’, he said, rubbing his chin. ‘You expect nothing.
AIMEE BENDER

Expect Girl Nothing Perfect Rub
I have had with novel writing, and I have put to bed big chunks of work that just didn’t sustain my interest.
AIMEE BENDER

Bed Big Interest Novel Sustain Work Writing
Listen. Look. Desire is a house. Desire needs closed space. Desire runs out of doors or windows, or slats or pinpricks, it can’t fit under the sky, too large. Close the doors. Close the windows.
AIMEE BENDER

Blow Close Desire Door Large Listen Need Run Sky Space Window
I admired that stride; it was like he folded space in two with it.
AIMEE BENDER

Admire Fold Like Space Stride Two
It was like we were exchanging codes, on how to be a father and a daughter, like we’d read about it in a manual, translated from another language, and were doing our best with what we could understand.
AIMEE BENDER

Code Daughter Details exchange Father Language Read
I was right at the edge of their circle, like the tail of a Q…
AIMEE BENDER

Circle Edge Like Right Tail
The wine glasses are empty except for that one undrinkable red spot at the bottom.
AIMEE BENDER

Bottom Empty Except Glasses Red Spot Wine
He was also removing all traces of any tiny leftover parts, and suddenly a ritual which I’d always found incestuous and gross seemed to me more like a desperate act on Joseph’s part to get out, to leave, to extract every little last remnant and bring it into open air.
AIMEE BENDER

Carefully Concentrate Desperate Detail Intimate Leave Open Part Remnant Ritual Time
I am the drying meadow; you the unspoken apology; he is the fluctuating distance between mother and son.
AIMEE BENDER

Apology Baby Distance Drying Fluctuate Life Mother Son Unspoken
You can ruin anything if you focus at it.
AIMEE BENDER

Anything Focus Ruin
That she might not actually know us seemed the humblest thing a mother could admit.
AIMEE BENDER

Actually Admit Humble might Mother Seem She
I watched as she added a question mark at the end. Arc, line, space, dot.
AIMEE BENDER

Add Dot Line Question Space Watch
I want to be violated by insight.
AIMEE BENDER

Insight Violate Want

That at the same time of this very intimate act of concentrating so carefully on the details of our mother’s palm and fingertips.

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That at the same time of this very intimate act of concentrating so carefully on the details of our mother’s palm and fingertips.

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