“Quite seriously. Be careful.”

If you’re still watching, write in and we’ll send you a fiver each.

There’s a certain amount of one-way shirt swapping going on.

I’m trying to get some building work done at the moment.

Not many players get three cracks of the cherry.

The aura of uninvincibility has gone, if there is such a word.

Lampard’s not the first player to run to the crowd with lips over his mouth.