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A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

Tom Waits

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness.
TOM WAITS

Abundance Bury Happiness Information Quantity Wealth Weight
The trick is to have a career and have a family. It’s like having two dogs that hate each other and you have to take them for a walk every night.
TOM WAITS

Career Family Night Trick Yourself
There’s nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you’re not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I’m the worst. I’m the worst at that.
TOM WAITS

Break Cry Hard Time Laughter Life People Situation Worst Yourself
I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch.
TOM WAITS

Alcohol Blood Myself
The dog won’t bite if you beat Him with a bone.
TOM WAITS

Beat Bite Bone Dog Yourself
The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.
TOM WAITS

Bad Destroy Hell Ourselves Place Suffering World Writing
I’ll tell you all my secrets but I lie about my past.
TOM WAITS

Lying Myself Past Secret
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
TOM WAITS

Friendship Pain Reality
I’ve lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.
TOM WAITS

Balance Car Myself Pride
Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don’t get out much. It’s true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.
TOM WAITS

Admire Death Feeling People
I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
TOM WAITS

Freedom Myself Science
It’s very hard to stop doing things you’re used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.
TOM WAITS

Avoid Habit Hard Old Scatter Stop Togetherness Yourself
I’ll take a rusty nail and scratch your initials on my arm.
TOM WAITS

Initial Myself Scratch
The ocean doesn’t want me today, But I’ll come back tomorrow to play. The riptide is waging And the life guard’s away But the ocean doesn’t want me today.
TOM WAITS

Guard Life Myself Ocean Play
All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes
TOM WAITS

Donut Name Prostitute Sound
I’m not fighting for justice. I am not fighting for freedom. I am fighting for my life and another day in the world here.
TOM WAITS

Fight Justice Myself World

A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

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A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

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