“Old man with an old phone. That’s never not funny.”

I think what’s dangerous [about comedy] is that you’re coming into the room announcing your intentions.

Benito Mussolini created the word ‘fascism.’ He defined it as ‘the merging of the state and the corporation.’ He also said a more accurate word would be ‘corporatism.’

Most of what’s tricky about comedy is the perception of it and the audience’s expectation.

I’m not against banking. Banking allowed our modern society to happen, it is essential. It connects the work through finance, so banking is good.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way you can break the ice.

In general foreign invested companies who come to America to start a company, to open a manufacturing business or whatnot, they actually provide much higher wages than American companies.

Anyone in the comedy world knows that Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell are two of the funniest guys around.

For my money, I don’t think there’s been a better comedy than ‘Kung Fu Hustle’ in a lot of years. That movie just knocked me over.

I have certain beliefs about how people should treat employees and how companies should be run, but I was really surprised though this process to learn that those beliefs are actually good business.

I got the sense that Alabama is a place where people don’t want handouts and don’t much care for people talking out of the side of their mouth.

It’s one thing to mess stuff up and break stuff, but [Borat] is really pointing out the ideology of America.

It’s crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.

I grew up with a single mom who was a waitress. We were on food stamps.

We punch mirrors and we explore our darker selves. No, it’s just an amalgam of all newscasters that we grew up with. Sort of like before there was cable, when these people were like gods.

David O. Russell is probably my favorite filmmaker. He’s not only a great director, but he’s also a great writer.

I’m just a giant film fan, so I love action movies out of all kinds of movies. As a film geek, it’s amazing to be able to shoot this stuff.

If we did not flatter ourselves, the flattery of others could never harm us.

I’ve never been a jealous person, and I’ve never felt built up by someone else’s failure – that’s a cheap thrill.

Now, you lose something in your life, or you come into a conflict, and there’s gonna come a time that you’re gonna know: There was a reason for that. And at the end of your life, all the things you thought were periods, they turn out to be commas. There was never a full stop in any of it.

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

One can find women who have never had one love affair, but it is rare indeed to find any who have had only one.

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!

Never cut what you can untie.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.