“Why do I not kiss you, Philaenis? you are bald. Why do I not kiss you, Philaenis? you are carrotty. Why do I not kiss you, Philaenis? you are one-eyed. He who kisses you, Philaenis, sins against nature.”

I would not miss your face, your neck, your hands, your limbs, your bosom and certain other of your charms. Indeed, not to become boring by naming them all, I could do without you, Chloe, altogether.

A fisherman’s walk: three steps and overboard.

It is not he who forms idols in gold or marble that makes them gods, but he who kneels before them.

Life’s not just about being alive, but being well.

Whoever makes great presents, expects great presents in return.

The flaw which is hidden is deemed greater than it is.

While an ant was wandering under the shade of the tree of Phaeton, a drop of amber enveloped the tiny insect; thus she, who in life was disregarded, became precious by death.

They let out on hire their passions and eloquence. [Referring to lawyers.]

Wish to be what you are, and wish for no other position.

Virtue extends our days: he lives two lives who relives his past with pleasure.

Service cannot be expected from a friend in service; let him be a freeman who wishes to be my master.

Life consists not merely in existing, but in enjoying health.

It is folly to waste labour about trifles.

You give me nothing during your life, but you promise to provide for me at your death. If you are not a fool, you know what I wish for!

What’s a wretched man? A man whom no man pleases.

You are so pure in mind and heart, In aspect, too, so mild, I wonder that you ever could Implant your wife with child.

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig.

I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I’m homosexual.

Who lets slip fortune, her shall never find: Occasion once past by, is bald behind.

Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur.

I know I been bald but I just wanted to remind y’all I’m still that bitch.

I dragged my pain into the darkness, I carried it into the light – No matter where I choose to take it, This pain refuses to subside. I washed my sins off in the ocean, I prayed all my badness away, Whichever God I choose to worship, I cannot make my soul be saved.

She was getting fat and he was getting bald. As promised, they were growing old together.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.