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I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests’ books.

Dick Cavett

Every so often, there is an article saying the old kind of talk show isn’t possible now. In the oldest kind of talk show, you only had the choice of that or two other channels!
DICK CAVETT

Article Channel Choice Kind Old Possible
If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
DICK CAVETT

Campaign Comedy Myself Pizza Run Talent Wisdom Young
I have a long list of things that make me mad.
DICK CAVETT

Angry List Mad Myself
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: ‘What’s your sign?’ Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.
DICK CAVETT

Allow Day Violate
Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
DICK CAVETT

Food Myself Reach Time
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
DICK CAVETT

Bright Empty Evaporate Future Language Myself Quick
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
DICK CAVETT

Call Exception Interest Laughter Myself Religion
Teaching is an art and a profession requiring years of training.
DICK CAVETT

Art Profession Requirement Teaching Training
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Joke Mystery Process Result Study Subject
If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.
DICK CAVETT

Children Parents Yourself
Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
DICK CAVETT

Afraid Mindset Myself People Police Sex Violence
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
DICK CAVETT

Promotion See Subtle

I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests’ books.

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I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests’ books.

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Popular Authors

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