“I dislike my fellow-mortals. Justice compels me to add that they appear for the most part to dislike me.”

It is, I admit, mere imagination; but how often is imagination the mother of truth?

We balance probabilities and choose the most likely. It is the scientific use of the imagination.

There are no fools so troublesome as those who have some wit.

There’s a light in a woman’s eyes that speaks louder than words.

Of all ghosts the ghosts of our old loves are the worst.

When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

I wanted to end the world, but I’ll settle for ending yours.

It’s every man’s business to see justice done.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

I never can resist a touch of the dramatic.

I am a brain, The rest of me is a mere appendix.

We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere common places of existence.

A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is likely to use, and the rest he can put away in the lumber room of his library, where he can get it if he wants it.

Evil indeed is the man who has not one woman to mourn him.

There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub, and danger also for whoso snatches a delusion from a woman.

Of all ruins, that of a noble mind is the most deplorable.

Whatever a person may be like, we must still love them because we love God.

People made fun of my skinny legs.

I really like brunettes.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking – and that’s all that golf is – then you are officially fat.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

I’ve always been really tall and lanky.

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.