My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
DAVE CHAPPELLEMy father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore.
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You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!
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Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.
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There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.
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The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
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The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
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I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
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They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
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The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
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I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
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Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
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If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.
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My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’
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I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
DAVE CHAPPELLE






