“My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’”

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.

If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.

Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.

I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.

For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.

In the beginning, there were no reasons; there were only causes. Nothing had a purpose, nothing has so much as a function; there was no teleology in the world at all.

Hope begins in the dark.

The cadence of suffering has begun. Every evening at dusk, my heart constricts until night has come.

Before you begin your day: Take a moment of silence and meditation, and give yourself permission to have all that you desire.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

The only joy in the world is to begin. It is good to be alive because living is beginning, always, every moment.

Life begins now — right now — not tomorrow or the next day or the next. Every minute of every hour of every day, life begins anew. That means everything can change in an instant. It also means you can have a new beginning whenever you want.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you’re gonna let me in I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.