“Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.”

People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.

The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.

I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.

I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.

I started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.

I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it’s a pretty good lifestyle.

I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.

You got to be careful of the company you keep.

It seems like there’s never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.

One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

Failure comes part and parcel with invention. It’s not optional.

We innovate by starting with the customer and working backwards. That becomes the touchstone for how we invent.

Nature is the source of all true knowledge. She has her own logic, her own laws, she has no effect without cause nor invention without necessity.

The value of an idea lies in the using of it.

I find out what the world needs. Then I go ahead and try to invent it.

Anything that won’t sell, I don’t want to invent. Its sale is proof of utility, and utility is success.

Great ideas originate in the muscles.

Invention requires a long-term willingness to be misunderstood.