“You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.”

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.

I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.

For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.

I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you.

I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.

You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!

There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.

I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

The real affliction of old age is remorse.

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.

And she is going to dance, dance hungry, dance full, dance each cold astonishing moment, now when she is young and again when she is old.

God does not patch up the old life, or make certain repairs on the old life; He gives a new life, through the new birth.

I’ve always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B’nai B’rith at our house.

The older I grow, the more I am convinced that there is no education which one can get from books and costly apparatus that is equal to that which can be gotten from contact with great men and women.

You will hear words old and spent and useless like costumes left over from yesterday’s parties.