Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThere’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.
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Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something. But it’s not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.
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No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.
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The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
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The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
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The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.
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Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.
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I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
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You got to be careful of the company you keep.
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I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
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If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.
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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
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They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
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People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
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I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
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I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
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Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
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If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
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You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
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One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
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Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
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Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
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All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
DAVE CHAPPELLE