“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Spring time is the land awakening.

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

There’s no such thing as being too Southern.

There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.

A new leadership. A choice. A chance. Don’t cry about what you don’t have. Use what you got.

The most important thing is to live a fabulous life. As long as it’s fabulous I don’t care how long it is.

Hard men present hard choices – none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia.

If I had to do it all over again? Why not, I would do it a little bit differently.

I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.

The history of free men is never written by chance but by choice – their choice.

I don’t think I’m inherently feminist. I think the universe wants me to be a feminist, and I think I resonate with that. I think it just chose me to be this female energy, thing. And I’m very drawn to female energy, but I don’t really have any prerequisites in feminism. I just roll with it.

There are a lot of similar aspects in all the religions. The question is which side of it you hold up.