Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLINI feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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