“Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.”

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

The road to success is always under construction.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.

We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.

When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”

You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.

The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.

Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.

There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.

I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.

If you are born Poor its not your mistake, but if you die poor its your mistake.

All humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes.

If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness.

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.