“Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.”

I can’t bare you when you’re not amusing.

Not everyone grows to be old, but everyone has been younger than he is now.

All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I’d sooner go to my dentist any day.

If you asked me now who I am, the only answer I could give with any certainty would be my name. For the rest: my loves, my hates, down even to my deepest desires, I can no longer say whether these emotions are my own, or stolen from those I once so desperately wished to be.

O God, make me good, but not yet.

I did not know it was possible to be so miserable and live but I am told that this is a common experience.

The trouble with modern education is you never know how ignorant they are.

A typical triumph of modern science to find the only part of Randolph that was not malignant and remove it.

We possess nothing certainly except the past.

I put the words down and push them a bit.

It is easy, retrospectively, to endow one’s youth with a false precocity or a false innocence; to tamper with the dates marking one’s stature on the edge of the door.

If politicians and scientists were lazier, how much happier we should all be.

Aesthetic value is often the by-product of the artist striving to do something else.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One’s vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die.

Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything.

If a thing’s worth doing at all, it’s worth doing well.

Remember that, however patient your study, you will never in adult life learn any language perfectly; the best you can hope for is to be a bore.

What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.

I haven’t been to rehab, I don’t do anything eccentric – I’m really boring.

How mundane it is for us to realize that we are all breathing under the same sky.

It would be positively boring if minds were in tune.

I just get bored easily. As I’m sure other people do too.

Get bored with your past, it’s over!

Never bored, so I’ll never get old.