“We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking.”

An idle reason lessens the weight of the good ones you gave before.

May you live all the days of your life.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.

Physicians ought not to give their judgment of religion, for the same reason that butchers are not admitted to be jurors upon life and death.

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.

The best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it.

Vision is the Art of seeing Things invisible.

There are few wild beasts more to be dreaded than a talking man having nothing to say.

Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.

The various opinions of philosophers have scattered through the world as many plagues of the mind as Pandora’s box did those of the body; only with this difference, that they have not left hope at the bottom.

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

The common fluency of speech in many men, and most women, is owing to a scarcity of matter and a scarcity of words; for whosoever is a master of language, and hath a mind full of ideas, will be apt, in speaking, to hesitate upon the choice of both.

There is no vice which mankind carries to such wild extremes as that of avarice.

What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.

One begins to realize that one is getting old when the birthday candles weigh more than the cake.

Age is the first limitation on roles that I’ve ever had to encounter, and I hit that a while ago.

Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.

Never was an age more sentimental, more devoid of real feeling, more exaggerated in false feeling, than our own.

Old age is second childhood.

If you want a thing done well, get a couple of old broads to do it.

Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.