“Religion seems to have grown an infant with age, and requires miracles to nurse it, as it had in its infancy.”

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.

Physicians ought not to give their judgment of religion, for the same reason that butchers are not admitted to be jurors upon life and death.

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.

The best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it.

Vision is the Art of seeing Things invisible.

There are few wild beasts more to be dreaded than a talking man having nothing to say.

Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.

The various opinions of philosophers have scattered through the world as many plagues of the mind as Pandora’s box did those of the body; only with this difference, that they have not left hope at the bottom.

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

The common fluency of speech in many men, and most women, is owing to a scarcity of matter and a scarcity of words; for whosoever is a master of language, and hath a mind full of ideas, will be apt, in speaking, to hesitate upon the choice of both.

There is no vice which mankind carries to such wild extremes as that of avarice.

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.

I love good creditable acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company.

Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.

Never was an age more sentimental, more devoid of real feeling, more exaggerated in false feeling, than our own.

Old age is second childhood.

If you want a thing done well, get a couple of old broads to do it.

Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.

I can’t hit on women in public any more. I didn’t decide this; it just doesn’t feel right at my age.

It’s been an interesting life. I feel like I’m 40 years old at the age of 16.

Getting old is not for sissies.