A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKENOnce a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.
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The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
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The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
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Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
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The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN






